Monday, October 13, 2008

Dear TUFW: don’t go!

I can’t believe TUFW is closing.

In the back of my mind—this is how painfully hopeful the world inside my brain is—as long as the school was there, we were all still somehow connected. At least there was a building and a lot to prove we ever were, and a dorm over by the woods off Lexington hanging onto a hopeless panicky eighteen year-old version of me, and a dorm next to the old cafeteria that always feels like a giant hug when I picture it inside. Two windows to the right of the door, on the second floor, is where I realized there was a chance I might be smart and capable and not crazy at all, but loved, actually. It changed my trajectory.

I feel like part of our history is disappearing. It’s the only place that ever felt like home; a place I can walk into even 5 years later and take a hopeful breath. One time someone loved me here, is what I think when I walk inside.

I’m so sorry for the staff and faculty being uprooted and displaced. I just can’t imagine:
A- how shocked and sad and uncertain everyone must feel
B- not being able to stop in and say hey to Dr. Cook or James or Tami whenever I secretly need to touch down on home base for a sec.

It’s heartbreaking on all accounts.

When I don’t feel so strange, I’ll do some kind of hilarious best memories post. But for now I just want to go home and hug people, and then pee on the library for old times’ sake.

(kidding)

Dear TUFW: don’t go!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

i just wanna cry.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Brooke. "a dorm next to the old cafeteria that always feels like a giant hug when I picture it inside" is a very touching comment - this is exactly why I came back to work here. As alum, despite rules or finances etc, we always felt at home here. So thank you for these words, they touched me deeply. Now I'm going to go pee on the library, like I do every Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

great post brookie...you've inspired me to write my own at some point today.

collinsfamily3 said...

i liked the part when you said, part of our history is disappearing. sad. sad.

Anonymous said...

Wonderfully written! You were (and are) still loved.

Brooke said...

Aw, thanks you guys.

(Although I really think the peeing should be moved to non-daylight hours, Jamesy, and kept confined to giant construction holes and not actual buildings. You realize there is a webcam now and all. Don't worry, I panicked, too, when I first realized it.)

Anonymous said...

along with peeing in non-daylight hours, how about pseudo rock climbing in certain foundations during non-daylight hours. I wish they had archived webcam footage.

Brooke said...

Matt! I was also wondering about sitting in the scoop part of a bulldozer and pretending it was an easter basket. I love that night.

If they did have archived webcam footage, Sprinky would have been caught peeing all over Fort Wayne for the last ten years. I imagine she is already in a few background pics of people running red lights- she may also have been in the background pic of her own mug shot that night. Buh-duh-duh-chh... I sure miss us. How are you?!

Anonymous said...

I'm just really glad I didn't break my hand that night. Thought for sure I did. I am good. I am in Charlotte as of this afternoon for possibly 5 or 6 years or so. Sounds like prison, but it's just grad school. Oh, that was "that" night. Forgot about that. That was a great year for sure! And I would also like the record to reflect that I can indeed toss a bottle the farthest of anyone in our group.

Anonymous said...

oh, you guys. although, it's true, i do enjoy a good outdoor squat.